Sunday, March 18, 2007
How Teen Girls Can Get A Yes From Their Moms
by Eugene Idigbe
Some mothers still see their teenage daughters as little girls. Here's the secret to getting her to treat you more like an adult. The following tips will help you stop complaining about how impossible your mom is and figure out how to change the no to Yes.
Tip one: approach your mom only when she's relaxed.
Even if you've been waiting to talk to her all day. If she just walked in the door from a bad at the office after being struck in traffic for two hours, and she has to let the dog out to pee, or has to start making dinner . . . stay away!
Think about it: if you just got home after failing a test that you were up all night studying for and your little sister says, "can i borrow your new top?" You'd probably say no. But don't go overboard; if you approach Mom with a fresh drink and you've never made her one before, she'll immediately be suspicious, it might look to her like you’re buttering her up because you expect her to say no and that will make it easier for her to actually say no.
Tip two: share the details.
Don’t just yell over your shoulder on your way out the door that you're "going out" You have to give your mom time to react or she'll think you have something to hide. Approach her at a relaxed moment, like over dinner: “Mom, I’m going to a dinner party at a friend's house. I'll be home later in the day". Then if she has any questions, answer them calmly. Make her less likely to get to you.
Tip three: Use key words.
You can win your mom over with certain phrases. Follow up a request or suggestion with something like: "what do you think, Mom?" Another good one: “just think about it a little before you answer, okay?" This will make her view you as very mature and responsible.
Tip Four: Put aside what you want for a second, no matter how urgent it is.
Now think about what your mom might want. Perhaps some help cleaning the home? Someone to keep her company on a Friday night? This isn’t about sucking up. Its about trading places with her so you can get a glimpse of her life. You will be able to better understand what makes her tick. You will stop seeing your mom as a barrier between you and a good time and start seeing her as someone who really wants the best for you.
Tip Five: Reassure Her.
If your mom still hesitates to let you go to a party on a Saturday night no matter what, then try compromise: offer to call during the party so she'll know you're okay. Then do it no matter what. Because if you don’t, you will just be showing her that you're irresponsible, and you may find yourself with even stricter rules than you had before. Always ask for permission to do anything no matter how little, and win her trust. This way, you’re not just asking for permission, but also support, advice and blessings.